My Costanza Wallet

Is the little rectangular wallet holder to the right of your car's stick shift your new best friend? Do you have a new paperweight at the office? Do you find yourself grabbing a hoody out of the closet, just so that you can bring your leather friend with you when you go out?   If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, than you (like George Costanza and I) are likely someone that has an oversized wallet. 

I realized a few days ago (for the second time in my life), that I had a very large wallet.  Here's a current picture of it:

I realized that my wallet had gained weight when I was at a Blue Jay's game last week (Jay's beat the Orioles 6-5 just so you know).  An analogy that best describes my epiphany is when you are buying a beer at dinner, and you are asked by your server to show to show your driver's licence to them.  You aren't expecting this - as you are 27 year old and that kind of thing just never happens to you anymore.  Well, I was about to get in to the Roger's Centre when I was stopped by a security guard.  Yep, he wanted to know what was in the pocket of my shorts.  When I showed him that it was my fatty pants wallet, he chuckled, and let me in.  Time for the wallet diet.

So how does this happen?  What makes certain wallet carriers "hoarders" of random and pointless items? More importantly for me - what is in this darn thing that is making it so heavy? Let the great wallet transfer experiment begin (said like Tobias in Arrested Development)!  Hello $15.26 in toonies, loonies, quarters, dimes...

Ok, here are some of the highlights from my purge.  My HBC Credit Card that I signed up for in order to get 10% off a luggage purchase.  Five gift cards with unknown amounts on them (EB Games, Boston Pizza, Cineplex Odeon, LCBO, and a Tim Card).  Six membership cards to various companies (Blockbuster, HMV, Chapters, Moores, Big Al's Aquarium Supplies and Ontario College of Teachers).  Two student cards from back in the day.  A receipt for a garden lawn gnome (that I can explain at some point). A receipt for dry cleaning (hope I picked that suit up...). My colleagues Air Miles Rewards Card. Two unfinished Marble Slab Club stamp cards (guess I couldn't find the first one at one point and got a second? Ooh I get a free sundae)! Certification in Standard First Aid/CPR.  A receipt for entrance into the Zachary Taylor Historic State Park in Florida. A ticket stub for entrance to the Highland Games in Uxbridge, Ontario. A business card for Flashpoint Productions Premium DJ Services. 

That's it.  Oh - and all the other stuff that I deemed too important to not have in my new wallet of course! 

Resources 

• What is a "Costanza" Wallet? YouTube
• Piriformis Syndrome - Aka Wallet Sciatica and/or Fat Wallet Syndrome - Wikipedia